Monday, August 31, 2009

"the It", "the I" and "the Over-I"

Something I secretly told myself I would do in 2009 is to try my very best at surrounding myself with positivity. Positive energy circulates. People pick up on other's energies so quickly it blows my mind. An amazing moment I have had has been looking around at my company of the moment, and just marvelling at the admiration and love I hold for my friends. Yep, good energies only. So far it is working *pat on back*

I have spent a lot of time with women this past summer. All kinds of beauties. It wasn't intentional in the beginning, spending all these bonding, heart-to-heart moments with women. But reflecting on it now, it seems rather fitting. For what I am seeking out to learn about myself and the "type" of woman I want to grow into, it only seems appropriate.

So I went to bed with the word "ego" dancing in my head, looming like the giant letters of the alphabet in Sesame Street.

As women, okay, okay! a girl trying to be a woman in my case....we try to pick men apart *sigh* and figure out why they are the way they are and why they act(out) the way they do. Towards us. Being in a circle of females who generally don't seem to take shit from men (where avoidable of course :) it can be rather difficult for me to decipher what is really behind these bold statements we make in order to protect our pride and reasoning.

"but I know it's just my ego" *shrug* has become a common phrase within discussion, when on the topic of men. I can't help but let it feel more like a "taking responsibility" statement for feeling the way you feel and expressing it aloud, rather than the smart self-reflection it is meant to be. As silly or even *ahem* crazy as we believe ourselves to be sometimes, it is okay to feel and not necessarily equate those feelings with self-serving ego.

Is it really about "I, myself". I suppose it is. I understand the reality behind it, having been told that it would be wise to follow this way of thinking.
The dancing around letters of E -G and O have helped to conclude that I am not quite a believer. (Yet) I don't want it to be about ego. It can be about you. You and me.

Spreading the L-O-V-E.

Image: Les robes de Paul Poiret by Paul Iribe, 1908

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